he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
