I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
