At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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