Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
