i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕