So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize