i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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