Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind