Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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