She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
did you just send me my own nude
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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