Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
