i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
