Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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