like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
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You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
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Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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