Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
