So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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