You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
