dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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