you traded sex for a burrito?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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