Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
