Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
