so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
