Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
