Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
