I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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