your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
