I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
