My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize