So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't deserve a penis
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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