so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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