just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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