So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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