Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
