Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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