he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
