ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
