okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
