I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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