The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
