Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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