i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
