Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize