Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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