Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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