last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
