I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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