that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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