UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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