can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
