Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
