Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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