This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
