no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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