***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We talked him into tasing himself.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
