All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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