I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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