im having a threesome with these popsicles
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize