On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
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After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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