I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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