if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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