Little spoons don't ask big questions
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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