I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
