hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
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Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
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And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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