I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
