Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
